I have been struggling with my weight for most of my adult life, since my teens. I had a couple of periods when I lost significant weight and was at an appropriate weight and BMI, these times tie in with significant events in my life. In February 2022, I was in my mid 50's and had been around 120 KG which was at the high end of obese and my BMI was 35. I was at a family event with my sister and father and when I looked at the photos we had taken of the three of us, it really hit me, finally hit me that I had to do something about my weight. I am not saying that I hadn't thought about my weight before and that I didn't know i was seriously overweight. I had as part of a talking therapy program about 5 years ago, looked at my eating habits and history of eating. I knew, know that I use eating as a stress relief, a celebration and to 'relax'. My favorite time was to have completed my tasks/work for the day or week and sit in front of the tv and eat, takeaways, junk food, sweets, crisps, pastries. I may admit the amount of chocolate and sweets I could consume later in this post. For now, lets get back to the medical side of this and the impact on my life: The positive, if you could call it that, in my mind at least, was that over eating, gave me comfort and released endorphins, which made me feel better or good, for the short term. In terms of negatives, lets see how long the list gets:
So, for reasons I do not know, in February all the puzzle pieces fell into place and I realised I had to do something about my weight and my relationship with food. Not a diet a change in my relationship with food and a permanent change in what, how and why I ate. I worked out that for me the first thing was to understand how much food and how many calories I was consuming a day. I have found that the free calorie counting, no perhaps better described as calorie recording and food diary MyFitnessPal (absolutely no affiliation to MyAnxiety). More to follow............
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My Anxiety Blog from someone living with anxiety, depression and ulcerative colitis
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